From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands.

"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.

"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad."

A Little Gas

A Dutch veterinarian was fined 600 guilders (about $240)
for causing a fire that destroyed a farm in Lichten Vourde,
the Netherlands. The vet had been trying to convince a farmer
that his cow was passing flatulent gas; to demonstrate, the
vet ignited the gas, but the cow became a "four-legged
flame-thrower" and ran wild, setting fire to bales of hay. 
Damage to the farm was assessed at $80,000. The cow was 

unharmed. AP 

Not Me!

The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that
a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said
he couldn't have done it because he was busy breaking into
a school at the same time. Police then arrested him for
breaking into the school.

A Penny Saved...

 David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, 
after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and
stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out
they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each,
and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that
police officers easily jumped him from behind.

This Smells Odd

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he
bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an
ill man curled up next to a motor home trying to steal
gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's
sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best
laugh he'd ever had.

 Oil Change

45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas,
after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of
marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car
which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change.
According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't
realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to
change the oil.  

Put Your Foot In Your Mouth

Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the

 midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette.

One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in
jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.

Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little
casually today, aren't we?"

 The man replied, "That's one benefit of owning the company..."    

Car Phone
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned
that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking
the report called the phone and told the guy that answered
that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy
the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.